and today is one of those days where everything seems to be in a whirl - no word can exactly describe how i feel at this very moment

lately, it has been like this. a huge amount of weight residing in my chest, staying and never wanting to leave. that continuous desire of exploding and just running away - but i know i can't

there's so many things to do and i just don't know where to start. i don't even want to start. long gone are the days of freedom. i'm trying to escape, away from all of these mess. i want to forget them and pretend they don't exist. but each time i do that, there's this staggering fear of the unknown

these thoughts just won't fade away. an escape is actually an inch closer. while i try to run away, they follow me into the darkness - their shadows shining brighter than ever. they're always at the back of mind, dictating my moves and killing every inch of passion i have within me.

i just want to be alive and start living

So, we had a yacht party. And, it just ended. Not too long ago.

But. The memories will stay for long. Forever, even.

It was a very exhilarating experience. It was my first time on a yacht party, and of course, such parties are huge and grand and rare. You don't go to them often, and when you do, for the first time at least, it's something to really look forward to.

I knew i wouldn't be disappointed. Right after my very first step into the bay, looking at the yachts, i knew this is gonna be fun. And hell yeah, it sure was. Our yacht was huge, beautiful and really picture-worthy. We decorated it according to the theme, and it looked even cuter.

With an unusual mix of people, we've decided to stick together. We meaning Ming, Jek Bao and i. The rest were just in their own world, and it was socially awkward to mingle around. The three of us got our food, and just chilled ourselves. It was nice. It was my first time meeting Jek Bao and he seemed like a really nice chap.

The three of us lay on the parapet, and started talking about life. I love such conversations. We talked about our aspirations, our fears and insecurities. We questioned our beliefs about life, and spoke from our hearts. We doubted Singapore's suppressing system; we wanted to be free.

Ming asked if she's changed from the first time i've met her. I said yes, but in a positive light. I like how we're so honest and concerned about each other. Jek Bao asked me what i wanted to be. I said ''I don't know." Then, i muttered : "I want to set up a media company. A consultancy firm."

Honestly, i don't know where that came from. Is that what i've really wanted? A subsconcious desire? That certainly is something interesting.

Jek Bao told me about connections with a purpose(re : colleagues, business partners) and how these are all transitory. I agreed and added, "I guess as we're all growing up, we want something stable and secured." How true. We're at the stage of life where meaningful existences around us matter more than just acquaintances. These important beings are the ones we want to be with for life, to create something beautiful together. For memories that last a lifetime, for being our pillars of strength when life gets tough, and to simply be with us - because they genuinely want to.

The setting was so beautiful to ignite a heart to heart conversation. Lying on a yacht, with a sky enveloped with stars, and the wind gushing through our faces.

This is definitely something to remember.