and today is one of those days where everything seems to be in a whirl - no word can exactly describe how i feel at this very moment

lately, it has been like this. a huge amount of weight residing in my chest, staying and never wanting to leave. that continuous desire of exploding and just running away - but i know i can't

there's so many things to do and i just don't know where to start. i don't even want to start. long gone are the days of freedom. i'm trying to escape, away from all of these mess. i want to forget them and pretend they don't exist. but each time i do that, there's this staggering fear of the unknown

these thoughts just won't fade away. an escape is actually an inch closer. while i try to run away, they follow me into the darkness - their shadows shining brighter than ever. they're always at the back of mind, dictating my moves and killing every inch of passion i have within me.

i just want to be alive and start living