and it's one of those moments when the sky refuses to belt out any more sunlight; for it's time for the rain to take control over our blue emotions which are dripping from the cornerstone of our hearts

one of those moments where i refuse to power the switch in my mind, the switch which would reignite all the blocks of boulders that are meant to crush my insides till i have nothing left within to fight

am i then, being delusional? or am i just trying to survive?

one of those moments where you know very well that if you want something really really really really really badly, more often than not, what you want will slowly creep out its way. far away from you. far from being involved with you. simply because, it does not even exist.

one of those moments where you realise that you are really not good enough in things you proclaim to be your 'passion', 'you would want to do this your whole life'. wtf i need to improve and be so much better and not just want things without putting any effort. things don't work that way. i need to unravel myself from this cocoon which i've built steadily over the years and finally breathe. away from all the obligations imposed/standards set/expectations

really would like to talk to somebody right now, just anyone randomly