hi. i don't know what to say, and it fears the hell out of me that one day, one unfateful day, i might even lose the ability to express myself, which is to me, the very reason to remain sane.

over the span of these weeks, i've realised, in a very blatant manner, that every single word/expression is of paramount importance. it's like as though every single thing matters, and thus, they have to be crafted and thought out very carefully. this kinda freaks me out, because i tend to have a very lackadaisical attitude with regards to things in general. i wonder what impression do i leave on people.

+++

and no, it's not that i don't love myself. i know that before you love someone, you need to love yourself first. but it's just that... i think i'll be single forever.