today, i felt like crying and screaming and pulling my hair out and biting my nails all at once. i felt extremely self-conscious, my heart was beating too fast, way too fast. i was in a state of constant panic and anxiety.

someone told me that we shouldn't seek love. instead, we should seek to find the barriers we built against ourselves. AND DESTROY THEM.  fucking shit how true is that. i don't even know how to destroy them though, i think it takes an insurmountable amount of courage to do that. which, unfortunately, isn't in my favour.

ah i feel like scratching myself now. i can't seem to let go. fuck just let it all go you dumbass WHY CAN'T YOU DO SUCH A SIMPLE THING?

let go let go let go breathe breathe breathe calm yourself down relax take it easy chill out OMG I WANT TO CRY BYE