work as per normal yesterday, yeah i operate on a 5 and a half day working machine. :( met ming, the bestest friend ever, for lunch and chit chat session. it was such a relief. after lunch and everything, we sat at coffee beans(because starbucks was packed) to do some readings. i was people-watching and it was actually very very therapeutic. then, i began writing..... and this is what i randomly wrote on a piece of paper

''hi, i'm sitting in coffee beans, trying to consciously read but to no avail cos i'm so sleepy. my earpiece is tucked inside, and i'm listening to the stripped segment of 987fm and i love it. it's so serene and i'm feeling at peace with myself. the songs are raw to the very essence, there's no grand instruments to modify how it should be originally, and thus, this is how it should be. songs sung by singers with their real voice without any effort to make it sound better because they are good enough. you don't need to justify how good you are by seeing how pleased others are. as long as you think it's good enough, then yes you are. yet, this argument is somewhat invalid because by submitting yourself to it, you are under the premise that the world should revolve around you. but, no, reality hurts. that shouldn't be the way. BUT WHY NOT? THIS IS YOUR life. thus, whatever you do should be based on your own yardstick. those universal standards and guidelines should just go to hell and die because they irritate the hell out of me. but yet, i guess at the end of the day, it's about doing things in moderation without veering towards the extremes. it's about staying afloat in the middle without treading in both ends of the spectrum. but how do i do that? i've been feeling so extreme these days. as i'm writing these, i can't help but to be distracted by this family. they have been exuding such familial warmth and i feel truly happy for them. they are doting on their kid in the most affectionate manner and i can really tell how happy they are. this makes me really happy. it reminds me of myself when i was a small kid. i'm sure my parents doted and loved me till no end. it's not that they don't now, but i guess it's different. we're all grown up and we're somewhat drifted apart from our parents. it's unwarranted to doubt if they really love me, but like there're no actions. so what do i base them on? chemistry? connection? i don't know..."