am telling myself that sometimes, we don't have to try too hard. if it's meant to happen, no matter what comes in between, it will still happen.

+++

feels like i've done nothing these 2 days, feels like i've so many stuffs to read(i have like 7 different tabs of websites) and i'm tired of reading so i'm just aimlessly chatting with people and it feels meaningless. meaningless. i feel like i'm floating and just wading through this stealthily, like i'm invisible and i'm actually not here. like when i chat with them, i adopt an entire different persona - like a reckless abandon who doesn't give a shit about feelings(what feelings?), someone apathetic who doesn't bother trying to be nice, someone who
screws up conversations(look at previous point). i just speak my rambunctious mind

i think i (really) need a job