it's funny, i wanted to write something else but i got distracted. and out of randomness, the earlier post was written without having anything in mind. the words just came out like it was supposed to, like as if it was a natural thing to not think and let my hands do the 'talking'

and i read what i wrote. it seems jaded and i feel sad. was that my subsconcious mind talking? is that what i'm truly feeling right now?

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i wrote before that a person would be depressed if he tries to find meaning in every single thing he does. and i am that person. but i don't want to be that person anymore. it is SO emotionally and physically exhausting i'm on the brink of giving everything up. when i wake up tomorrow, i'm not gonna care. i'll stop caring, everything will NOT be thought of/considered, even on the slightest level of concern. i'm gonna be the next apathetic fucker who lives life without giving a shit/meaning to ANYTHING at all